The Tantrum According to Dr. Phil

I watched Dr. Phil today with interest because he was addressing how to deal with your child's tantrums. He and his expert guest, put out these great points for dealing with tantrums:

3 Steps to Getting Control of a Tantrum Situation:
1. Get calm yourself (your child mimics your behaviour, so be calm yourself first)
2. Use non-verbal cues (use hand gestures because they are universal)
3. Identify what your child really wants (is it attention, power?)

Other good points:
Go eye to eye - When you speak with your child in the middle of a tantrum, go eye to eye so child knows you are serious and so you know he is engaged.

Don't go over the edge - If you do, he will too.
Kids do what you do - If your child is throwing tantrums to get his/her way, ask yourself if he/she is copying you. Do you throw a tantrum when you don't get your way?

Parents need to get on the same page in terms of your game plan in dealing with your child's behaviour.

A child who doesn't have structure in terms of knowing what's going to happen consistently, may be fearful about what's going to happen. It can be scary for him. The more stable you become in ordering his environment, the more stable he will become.

Don't reward your child with attention at the time he/she is having a tantrum. But do let your child know that he/she has been heard. When your child is throwing a tantrum, often the child is wanting to be heard. Repeat what it is they say the want. You don't have to give it to him/her -- just let them know they've been heard...sometimes the tantrum is about being heard not necessarily about what they say they want.

My son's on strike

You know Vancouver's civic strike has gone on too long when you come home to find your five-year-old son has drawn and posted up "on strike" signs on all his vehicles: planes, helicopters, buses, cars.

When I called him for dinner tonight, he squared off with me and announced,"I'm on strike!"

I've died and gone to Nanny Heaven

We welcomed our new nanny into our home and I have yet to name a dish or cuisine she can't cook. Seriously. We were at dim sum and I jokingly asked her if she can make some of the dishes on our table. It started out with egg tarts, then moved up to mango pudding and then escalated to har gow (shrimp dumplings). Guess what? She can make it all.

Yesterday, I found out she can make chimichangas, barbecued pork (Chinese specialty), spring rolls, pad thai... seriously, the list is very, very long. She is also skilled at making birthday cakes! If you've been reading my blog for the last year, you'll know how I labour and sweat over making my children's birthday cakes. So, her expertise is welcome!

Of course, she is also wonderful with the kids. They already love her, lavishing her with hugs and kisses. But of course, it all boils down to food with me. Best way to get to my heart is through my stomach. I know, I'm so cheap.

Good night, baby

I love this modern bassinet. By Ooba. A sleek little nest for new baby to sleep beside your bed. Beautiful!





How about the hanging baby cradle by Knoppa. Cute, eh? Not sure if I would feel comfortable hanging this from the ceiling, but it's innovative and probably makes for a rockin' sleep for baby! The makers say you can lower the cradle or raise it. And it does save floor space. In cotton canvas with red or brown print.

Now that's what I call cooperation

The other day, when I was dining at White Spot with my two children, my two-year-old daughter (who is newly toilet-trained) announced that she had to poop. I took her to the only stall that the washroom had -- which just so happened to be that big one that also contains a diaper change station. Just as I was closing the door to the stall, a young mother walked in with a six-month-old baby in her arms, diaper and wipes in hand.

"Would you like to use the stall at the same time as my daughter sits on the toilet?" I asked. "That is if you don't mind sharing the stall with us. I don't want to keep you waiting and my daughter might take a while!"

"Oh, thank you!" the young mother said gratefully as she quickly took advantage of my offer to share. "I have a two-year-old too who is being toilet trained. I know what's like!" she added, referring to the "hurry up and wait" routine that most newly toilet-trained munchkins go through.

(What's isn't cooperation? Taking up the large washroom stall [which is clearly marked with a baby in a diaper icon on the door] with the change station in it just so you can have more room to change your clothes when there is a mother behind you with a young child and all the other stalls are full. I experienced this at Grouse Mountain on the weekend, and was not impressed. I found myself trying to remember the woman's runners from the crack at the bottom of the stall so that if I came across her pink striped runners outside, I could glare at her. But alas, Miss Pink Striped Runners did not emerge. I know, I know, very bad, Emma!)

He's a big boy now

I never thought I would be that mom who cries on her child's first day at elementary school. But I am.

I brought my son to meet his new Kindergarten teacher today at his 'big boy' school and I fought tears the whole time. She showed him colours, shapes, numbers, and letters and asked him what each thing was. He answered everything exactly right. I was, firstly, very proud. Then, I was really, really sad.

What happened to my impossibly fat little baby with the double chin, arms and legs like overstuffed sausages, and the gurgly laugh? The one I used to carry in the baby carrier as I shopped?

He is now my Hot Wheels-loving, Magic School Bus-watching, teeball-playing 'big boy,' who is now a Kindergartner. He is not a baby, not a toddler, not even a preschooler anymore.

I have to stop writing. My glasses are starting to fog up and I am tearing up again.

Strike blues

If you live in Vancouver, you know all about the civic strike. Your garbage is piling up, the parks are overgrown, and most importantly, the community centre preschools are closed.

I've talked to a few other parents with preschoolers who were supposed to attend their local community centre preschool program to find out what they're doing to entertain and educate their kids in the middle of this job action, and here are some of their ideas:

1. One parent takes her child to a home-based program run by one of the part-time teachers from the preschool her child normally attends. For a couple of hours a day, the kids get to do fun arts and crafts.

2. One family's nanny gets together with all the other neighbourhood nannies and they all rotate houses every day so kids can play together.

What are you doing with your preschoolers in the middle of this strike?